This morning, after my banana chocolate muffin we went straight to church at the JL Zwane 1st Presbiterian Chruch in Gugulethu. As we were driving through Gugs looking for the JL Zwane center my anxiety rose quite a bit. It really didn’t help that Hershal got half the group going in the wrong direction. I also was finally able to see the informal dwellings up close. There tend to be a lot of stray dogs wondering around, and when Godfrey dropped us off he was worried about our safty. He kept telling us not to go out at night, don’t go any where in a group of less then 3, don’t drive at night, don’t show off our stuff, and he kept going on. So far though I haven’t been worried about my safety all that much. When we got to church we locked all our bags and food for lunch in the office. The service was so different from services at my church back home. They all seem to know all the words to all the songs. Although I was given a hymn to sing along in I can barely speak Xhosa let alone read it, so I didn’t quite know what was being said. It was still a great experience everyone should do. The songs were lively; people were dancing in the isle, standing during every song and clearly passionate! The sermon though was my favorite part. The reverend had so much to say that I hadn’t thought of before, but made perfect sense to me. The community here in Gugs is so close that you go to your neighbor’s house for anything and everything’s. Although in our own history we always say in stories you go to your neighbor’s house to borrow a cup of sugar I’ve never done or heard of someone doing that. We typically juts go to the store and get what ever we need ourselves. Here they always go to their neighbors. The Reverend said, “the day we no longer need to go to our neighbors for bread or something is a sad day because that is what makes us go to our neighbors.” This is so true. I live in a suburb full of children so I do usually seem y neighbors, but in my apartment building I never knew or spoke to my neighbor’s apart from the football player who helped us move the couch out of our room during the last week. He also then spoke a little bit about how we need to start celebrating differences more. I think this came up solely because our group was there and were from a different country and race and some also in religion. I enjoyed this part to because one of my goals for this trip is to learn how to be a global citizen and what I can do to contribute to solving global problems and this got me thinking about that right away.
There was a couple from Texas who were at church with us. There church has teamed up with the one we were at and they came to see it. Both churches raise money as a church and then send some members from their churches to others in the country, continent, and world. They were currently discussing sending some to one in Johannesburg. I don’t know how I would do it, but I loved this idea and would love to find a way for my own church to do something similar. They go for two days and do a home stay with members of a church they’re going to visit the next day. This way they also get to experience a little bit of the culture, which is nice if the church you’re visiting is farther away. There was a short meeting before church where they talked about a new nuclear plant they’re getting. It was a time for questions to be answered.
When church was done we got to eat our lunch. I’m not gunna lie, but I keep getting egg sandwiches, and I’m worried I’m going to get ill. I don’t care for eggs to begin with, but you can’t keep that sitting out for long, which is what we’ve been doing. The milk is whole and warm so I have the same concerns about that too. We were then given a brief introduction to the center. One thing they do is an after school program that helps children with homework and provides them with a meal between 3-5pm. They also are partnered with Open Arms so they deliver food to people in the community with HIV/AIDS, orphans and those struck with sever poverty.
There is both a funeral and a wedding today that most all of our home stay families are at so we all went to Thotho’s house for lunch till the families got back. Nekey and I both got a ride to her place first, since we all had to get rides in 2-3 at a time. We got to the home and I was honestly surprised how nice the inside looked. I suppose since the outside doesn’t look like anything I’m used to and my stereotypes/expectations had already kicked in, I just figured the inside would look poor like the outside, but I was so wrong. I can’t say that all the informal homes have such nice insides since so far this is the only one I’ve been in, but I like it here. While we were waiting for the others to get here Nekey and I were having a sorta deep conversation. I call it sort of deep because it was about feelings I don’t often have the ability to express and be understood. She was telling me how she felt super out of place (like she stood out most) at church even though in physical appearance she blends in the best. I could understand that feeling because I have the same one when I go to places my tribe owns. I look like I belong, I’m the right race, but since I’m not actually living there or speak the language or follow the practices really at all I stand out more. At least I feel like I do. I could fully understand how she was feeling and was happy I actually had advice to give and we both bonded.
For lunch/dinner with Thotho we had such a wide variety of foods that were ethnic South African foods. We have had some since we arrived on May 23rd but not a whole ton.
K so I stopped writing when I was at Thotho’s and was feeling pretty good. Then Zukile gave Elisa and I a ride to our home stay family and I was still feeling all right at first thanks to Kelsey’s massage. Not going to lie I got uncomfortable right away. Thotho’s house and the ones around it are like super small versions of ours back home. Hers had a brick front and as I mentioned a while ago all the homes have fences, gates or stonewalls around them. Then we got to Buyiswa’s home and on the left side of the street are even smaller versions of Thotho’s house and on the right side were shacks. They’re were tons of people and dogs walking around outside starring because we obviously weren’t from Gugs and my anxiety level skyrocketed. She also didn’t have a fence and she did have a gate on her front door, but her front door didn’t close all the way, which for me personally I just feel more comfortable when the front door closes all the way in a place I’m uncomfortable. She showed us to our room and pointed out that the door had no handle so if we close it all the way we’ll lock ourselves in. The bathroom is located outside, but since it is to dangerous to go outside at nigh she put a chamber pot in our bedroom. She had us sit in the living room and the TV was playing native dancing and singing. All of a sudden 3 women showed up and one started showing us a long slide show of pictures she took at what I later gathered was her book signing. I didn’t know that right away though and then when they were all talking to each other in Xhosa I wanted to start crying because I was regretting coming. Others were in homes I considered to safer or at least more comfortable, although we had all been reassured our families were chosen because they were safe and could accommodate us. I was hit by the realness of the situation with a bit of culture shock and I think the one thing that kept me from bursting out into tears right then was when the baby Zazaza came into the room.
Before we got to South Africa I was told I would be staying with her along with her 33 year old daughter and 2 sons. Her sister from Port Elizabeth is also here because Buyiswa goes to work early in the morning and she wanted someone to be there with us in the morning. I didn’t know about the baby, but I’m grateful he was there. One of the two women remaining that I was expecting to see was Nombuko. She is HIV positive because she was gang raped when she was younger. She, along with 14 others, wrote a book that was published in both English and Xhosa. I’m still unsure who the last woman was because she wasn’t introduced, but she also is HIV positive with a book coming out soon. The women are all working together to start a new HIV/AIDS support group, but this is directed more towards children who don’t have it, and speaks about prevention and use of a condom. She said we only deal with problems after thy happen and she wants to deal with them before. WE also talked a ton about drinking. Here the legal age is 18 and Elisa commented on a commercial that stated that. Buyiswa asked what ours was and when I said 21 she instantly said she wanted that here. I’m not going to lie, even though I know the horrible ravages drinking can have on families, and individuals I’ve always been in favor of lowering the drinking age to 18 so I was curious why she wanted theirs raised. It was eye opening what she had to say. I’ve already stated that drinking here is a problem, but she told me it starts around age 11, which isn’t what I thought. Peer pressure is number 1 since younger kids go to the same school as older kids. Another big problem, which ties in also with drugs, is kids getting sucked in by dealers who then in return or alcohol or nice cloths they have to sell the drugs for the dealers. “Dealers know we are poor so they target our children. They plant someone dressed in all nice cloths with all the gadgets and then our children want that. But we are poor and have to say no. We say no, no, no all the time causing fighting, and somewhere out there someone will say yes. Then after a few months of giving them everything they want, they say now you have to do something for me because you owe me.” She also said she wants the drinking age raised because at 21 you’re finished most of your schooling and by then you have goals. If you start drinking at 18 you might not have goals and the alcohol can stop you from ever making them. I asked about the road block system because it was an idea I fell in love with when Alan told me about it, but she explained how it doesn’t really work. First they don’t do it often. Months can go by between sessions. Second they don’t do it in the townships where drinking can be the worst. Third they tend to only do a street or two so word spreads and people just avoid those streets. She along with myself, think it’s a great idea if it could be better implemented.
Then we took a break from the seriousness with a biscuit and her elder son Cepho showed us some of his drawings. They were AMAZING considering his age. I’m double his age and draw far worse. He didn’t believe me about that. Then we spoke a little about leadership since that is why we came to South Africa in the first place. She is obviously a leader in her community, but she was telling how hard it is to come out and say it because she knows it will cause much more work for her. She gave us an example about how she gave one woman a blanket and soon many more showed up and cried to her like the first also hoping for a blanket and knowing she’s a leader, but she had nothing to give them so they get upset with her. A good leader needs to be willing to put themselves in a position where more work than they would like to take on or feel comfortable doing can occur.
So on day 1 in Gugs I was nervous, comfortable, happy, ok, uncomfortable, on the brink of tears, relaxed, inspired and now I’m nervous again. I knew this week was going to be hard I just didn’t know what form “hard” was going to take. Even now as I write I can hear the wind blowing against the house, stray dogs barking, men shouting, and every now and again a car horn beeps and I jump proving I’m still clearly not quite comfortable with my surroundings yet. I'm just super overwhelmed right now by everything. Regardless, I was looking forward to this week and still am.
